The FILM: The Renaissance Express
by The Good Wario
Summary: On a cross country train ride from Russia to France, a passenger is murdered under peculiar circumstances. The assigned investigator to the case is a fool so it's the porter's task to find out who's did it. Also, the passengers are played by video game characters...stranger stories exist, so why not?
1. Chapter 1

I am not a mystery writer. I couldn't devise a grand mystery, real or false, even if I tried.

However, I have been the witness of one of the most peculiar murder mysteries that has ever existed. Or at least, the most peculiar mystery that I have ever had the knowledge of. You see, I used to be a train porter for one of the grandest locomotives that has ever traveled the rails of Europe.

The Renaissance Express.

The Renaissance Express was the train that all other luxury lines compared themselves to, with fine cuisine, luxurious cabins, majestic views, and stopped at many of Europe's magnificent destinations. France, Italy, Germany, Poland, and Russia were the countries that the train traveled through.

But enough about the train for now, let's talk about me for a minute.

I was in my mid twenties, and much stronger than I am today, but was probably just as large during this particular trip. I was born on November 2 in 1912 in England, though my parents are of an Irish descent. I was raised during World War I, experienced the The Roaring Twenties, and encountered the full force of the Great Depression. The Depression convinced me to leave England, that and the fact that my size and strength were a burden on my family.

I worked in warehouses, factories, and any other job that required heavy manpower. I joined the ranks of the Renaissance Express in 1932 and traveled Europe as a porter. Normally porters worked for individual train stations, but due to my abilities, I was brought along to work for the train itself.

I worked on the train for about seven years without incident, but in the July of 1939, the most unusual band of passengers boarded the train in Russia to travel to France.

The first of these peculiar passengers I met while loading a rather weighty package onto the train. It was weighty even for me, I doubt that a normal person would be able to lift such an object. As I was loading the object, the apparent owner approached me.

"Excuse me sir?" The man asked "could you please load that with the utmost sensitivity? I mean, I happen to know the weight and that two people are often needed to carry that object"

"I would rather not have people comment on my method," I replied "for I have unusual strength compared to that of a normal person"

"Ah, it's just that I want master's piano to make it to France safely"

"So that's what it is!" I exclaimed as I loaded the instrument "And who would be so wealthy to transport a piano with him?"

"Sir Meta Knight, the son of a frenchman and an englishwoman" A man announced as he approached me. "Dee, I will allow you to board at this time"

Meta Knight wore a mask that covered his face completely, but holes were in the front so he could both speak and be heard.

"Please pardon my manservant, he's been anxious to return to France"

"I can understand why, with the rise of international tension" I said as I adjusted the piano's placement.

"So you are knowledgeable of world affairs! I thought that I was the only one who knew"

"Well I believe that everyone knows about such things but they wish to ignore the facts"

"Much like Neville Chamberlain"

"Indeed! By the way, what brings a man like you to Russia?"

"A series of concerts by Russian composers, like Rimsky-Korsokov and Mussorgsky"

"Interesting, but what do you think of modern music, like Jazz?"

"The sound intrigues me, but does not enthrall me"

"But do you like it?" I heard a man asked from behind me. I turned around and saw two men in almost identical suits holding two instrument cases each. They both had red hair but one wore a beard.

"I ask because you fail to indicate any enjoyment from the type of music" The bearded one spoke.

"I sort of like it, but would like it more if it was less staccato"

"But not all Jazz is staccato," The one with out the beard replied "and not all Classical music is legato"

"True, but I believe that we should continue this discussion on the train" The man declared and made his way to board the train"

"What a peculiar man" I stated, and then I turned to the pair "so, what do you need to be loaded?"

"We need our instruments safely stored but easily accessible," The beardless man spoke "for we wish to practice in the luggage car"

I was taken by surprise by the last detail "You wish to practice? What instruments do you play?"

"I play Trombone, while my friend Bowser plays trumpet" The bearded man answered.

"Interesting, but you happen to hold four cases, rather than two"

The non bearded man turned to the other "Should we tell him Ganon?"

The other shook his head "Not now, we'll invite him to see us practice and then he could see"

"That all depends on what the conductor says"

The two shrugged and handed me their instrument cases. I loaded the devices and then I loaded their luggage.

After the pair left, two pilots approached me and were chatting in the process.

The two were almost oblivious to me. Once they arrived, they just handed me their luggage and never gave any indication that they noticed me. But to be fair, the youngest looking of the two did thank me while the other kept blabbing. I guess that he knew that his acquaintance was being rude, and couldn't control the other's behavior.

After that particular pair, I started to feel a drizzle come down, so I entered the luggage car to retrieve my rubber raincoat.

As I came out, the rain was starting to pour a little harder, and a man in a black trench coat was running towards me. Unfortunately for him, he slid on a puddle, fell on the ground, and accidentally threw his luggage. Fortunately, i caught the parcels, placed them down safely, and helped the man up.

"Are you okay sir?" I inquired.

The man took off his fedora and shook the water off of it. "Yes, I am. Thank you for saving my instruments"

I turned to the mans luggage and saw a pair of instrument cases much like the ones the pair of redheads had.

"Do you happen to know the pair of men who also happened to bring instruments of this nature with them?"

The man shook his head "I haven't the foggiest clue what you mean, sorry!" The man then thanked me for my kindness and rushed to board the train.

I loaded the instruments, but as I began to put the first case on the train, a small object fell to the floor of the luggage car. It was a passport. I opened it and saw the name of the man in the trench coat.

I put the passport in my pocket so that I could return it to him when the train began to move.

After the discovery of the passport, a rather tall man (when compared to normal people) with suspenders and a mustache and holding a rather embarrassing floral umbrella approached me.

"I'm sorry sir," The man began "but I seem to have lost my passport. I think that I accidentally left it in my trunk"

"It may take some time to find it sir, what does this trunk look like?"

"It's an old brown piece of luggage, well used but sturdy. There is a M on it but it has been etched out and replaced with the letter L"

"Ah!" I exclaimed "I think that I put that near the back" I climbed through the luggage and saw a battered trunk with an L on it. I handed it to the man and he tried to open it.

"I'm sorry," the man said "but this isn't mine"

I looked at the luggage; it was brown, had an L on it, but there was an emblem on it. The emblem had the Renaissance Express logo on it.

"I'm sorry, I accidentally retrieved the conductors luggage by mistake!" I places the trunk back and looked through the luggage again. I finally located a trunk where a letter was certainly removed. I handed it to the man and he was able to open it.

"Ah! There it is!" the man exclaimed "Thank you so much! I was afraid that I would't be able to leave Europe!"

He then left, and then the conductor then began to approach me.

"How's everything going?" He asked.

"Everything's going well Link" I replied. "By the way, two gentlemen asked if they could use the luggage car to practice music. I told them that it had to be okay with you first"

"Who are these gentlemen?" Link asked as he removed his cap and adjusted his blonde hair.

"Bowser and Ganon...I think..." I replied.

"Thank you Ralph, I'll find them and talk to them" He answered, and then proceeded to yell. "ABOARD! ALL ABOARD! TRAIN DEPARTING IN TEN MINUTES!" He the checked his pocket watch and then shouted again.

"MAKE THAT TWELVE MINUTES!"

Link then boarded the train and then a man with a shit eating grin approached me.

"Hello there sir," The man spoke in a kind matter that contrasted his snarky appearance, he was lugging a large black trunk "could you place this where I could access it during the journey?"

"Sure," I replied "do you happen to be with any of the musicians on this trip?"

The man looked at me as if I insulted him "NO!" he exclaimed "I have no time for musical endeavors, arts, or creativity! I am a man of industry, politics, and the progression of society!"

"Are you a politician?"

"No, I am an intellectual. A philosopher who believes in the philosophies of Hume and Locke"

"I honestly don't know who they are"

"To me, they are desire and experience. To the layman, they are a pair of dead guys"

I shrugged as I loaded the piece of luggage and boarded the train.

My quarters in the train was a rather roomy area in the back of the luggage car. The capacity of the train was not like most public trains, so the amount of luggage was often minimal. I slept in a well enforced hammock, and the images in international newspapers kept me company as they hung on the walls.

As I was organizing my belongings, a passenger accidentally entered the Luggage Car.

"Oh, I'm sorry" the man apologize "I was looking for the bathroom"

"I understand. There's one here and it's to your left"

The man thanked me and entered the bathroom. I briefly glanced at the newspapers I collected and noticed that the man who had entered the bathroom was on the front page of a German newspaper that was released during the 1936 olympics.

"Hey," I began "aren't you the winner of the Marathon of the most recent Olympics? Sonic Gi-Jeong?"

"I sure am" he spoke as he exited the restroom.

"What brought you to Russia?"

"I was training up north to deal with running in the cold"

"Interesting...are you traveling alone?"

"No, I'm traveling with my friend Tails Futatsu. His father was a pilot in The Great War and wants to be one himself; the political climate makes it seem like there's going to be another one"

"Excuse me" said a young female voice outside of the compartment "may I have some assistance?"

"You better get going, I've some work to do"

Sonic left, and I approached the door of the car. I saw a young girl no less than seventeen with yellow hair and blue eyes.

"Could you please load my trunk?" She politely asked.

"Sure...but what's a young girl your age traveling alone?"

"I was told to evacuate..." She spoke as she fiddled with the pendant at the end of her necklace.

I shrugged and put the trunk someplace safe. She then boarded at a great speed and checking my pocket watch I closed the doors.

"ALL ABOARD! LAST CALL FOR BOARDING!"

I made my way past the luggage I had loaded and sat in the back and spent the while translating a Russian Newspaper. The train lurched and slowly began to move forward.

We were off.


	2. Chapter 2

When the train got to a decent speed, I decided to leave the luggage car and return the nervous man's Passport.

From the luggage cars that were connected to the engine, I passed through the sleeping cars for the staff and made my way to the Lounge car, a sitting area with a full bar and light snacks. A number of people who I had already encountered were sitting around and I noticed a few new people.

Seated at a table for four, I noticed the man that had asked me to locate his luggage with his passport. He was seated with a man that was slightly shorter and more round. And the pair were sitting across from a pair of beautiful ladies, one blond haired and one wit auburn hair.

The tall man noticed me and brought my attention to his companions.

"Hello there!" the man called out to me "again, thanks so much Mr...I'm sorry, but I don't think you divulged your name"

"Oh...well my name is Luigi" He spoke as he extended his hand "And this man here is my brother Mario" The aforementioned brother extended his hand and I shook his as well. The brothers wore similar apparel except that Luigi wore a dark green newsboy cap while Mario wore a dark red one.

"Nice to meet you two, and who are these two lovely ladies?" I asked.

Mario spoke next "These two girls are our girlfriends. We each plan on marrying each other when we make our way to America"

"Mussolini not too appealing I see"

"You and me both! anyway. The woman with the blond hair is my girlfriend Peach, and the one lady is my brother's girlfriend, named Daisy"

"Hi, I'm Daisy!" The woman spoke as she extended her hand. I shook it and then extended my hand towards Peach. She however did not even bat an eye at me and turned away in disgust.

"Peach...what's a-wrong?" Mario sincerely asked.

"It's disgusting that they let a man of _HIS_ position to travel on this train" Peach rudely spoke.

"On the contrary" said the conductor, who had come up from behind "Ralph here is one of the reasons this train gets high marks for it's service. Loading and boarding is often a lengthy and tiresome task, especially when you have to deal with porters who are of a standard strength. Ralph here is almost superhuman and is a valuable asset. You miss, however, are just an ass"

I smiled at this verbal jab and Peach developed a severe pout.

"And besides, our employees will not tolerate abuse of any kind and if you do have a complaint please speak to me"

When he finished, the four all stared at Link with great amazement. He then walked off and I followed him.

"Amazing that you were able to berate her for me" I complemented.

"It's easy to pick up when you know it"

"Like your knowledge of this trains operations?" I asked "You've only been here for two weeks and know this train like the back of your hand"

"I know less about the back of my hand than I do about this train" Link replied as he walked off to attend to other duties. He seemed off put, but I had no qualm to make with a fellow co-worker. So I brushed off the situation and made my way to the bar in the Lounge car.

"Just a seltzer please" I ordered.

The bartender got straight to work and as my drink was being prepared, a woman in a opened brown trench coat and an orange turtleneck came to the bar and approached the seat next me. Her blond ponytail and partially ended up on my shoulder as sat.

"I'll have a Scotch, please" she ordered.

I brushed her hair off of my shoulder, and she gave me a rather unpleasant look.

"Sorry Miss...it's just that..."

"Don't talk to me mister" she automatically replied and turned her head back around.

"But lady, your hair was..."

"I SAID...don't talk to me" the woman sternly spoke.

I stopped for a second and sipped my drink "Did you accidentally leave anything in your luggage?"

She turned towards me in confusion "Why do you ask?"

"Because I work for this train, and one of the things that I am allowed to do is go into the luggage car and retrieve belongings. What I'm not allowed to do is try to be intimate with a passenger. I could get reprimanded"

She sighed "Sorry for my cold demeanor. I've had people treat me like I'm worthless or just some object many times before"

"I understand. I used to be treated as this huge lummox who only understood simple words and actions" I explained with a heavy breath "Now I work for the Renaissance Express"

She let out a smile "I used to do clerical and nursing duties back during The Great War, but when the base was attacked, I gathered my guts and fought alongside men"

I just stared incredulously after hearing the woman's tale "That makes me feel insignificant then"

"We all have our own ideas of achievement" she spoke as she finished her Scotch "I may need some help locating one of my effects later. The name's Samus"

She then left, and I proceeded my way to the dining car. Bass was still nowhere to be seen, but I did locate Sonic and the two pilots sitting with a fourth person, and the "intellectual" talking with someone else who was wearing a top hat.

"Trouble is certainly brewing in Europe" said an unfamiliar voice, but I could detect the air of nervousness.

"Worse than after the olympics?" Sonic asked.

"Yes indeed" the deep voice spoke again "Germany has been supposedly making plans for full attacks against Europe"

One of the pilots, the one who sat next to the deep voiced man, spoke next "This thing isn't going to start with 'some assassination and alliances' is it?"

"No, Fox" The man continued "There's going to be a full attack by The Nazis and I'd bet it's going to happen soon"

"I'd also bet that the United States are going to lag on their entry into the war"

"That's a sucker's bet" I quipped as I stopped at the table "The Americans have always been known to be isolationists"

"Good point" Sonic spoke, he was then acted as he was trying to remember something "...I met you earlier in the back, I forgot to catch your name"

"Oh, I'm sorry, My name is Ralph. What are the names of your companions?"

"Well this is Tails" Sonic spoke pointing at the young pilot who sat next to him "I told you about him earlier. Across from me is another pilot known as Fox McCloud. Fox flew for the Allies in The Great War while Tails is aspiring to be a fighter pilot"

The deep voiced man spoke next "I've been trying to convince Tails to here to not fight in the next conflict for it's going to only be more brutal"

"I would happen to agree with you Mr..." I spoke, hoping to get the man's name.

"Sorry Ralph, my name is Peppy O'Hare. It's a pleasure to meet you"

"The pleasure is all mine, how do you know Fox?" I asked.

"I used to be a pilot as well" Peppy explained "Now I only fly for pleasure, but if war is the case I will probably help command air traffic"

"Well good luck for your endeavors then" I answered with the tip of my bowler and I continued down the train car and approached the "intellectual" and the man in the Top Hat. I was about to enter the next car when I heard the man in the Top Hat spit out his drink.

"You can't be serious Anthony! An indiscriminate weapon to end all wars?"

"Why not? Why kill with weapons that kill by the tens and instead kill enemies by the thousands? No need for soldiers to attack, just use the weapon and the problem is taken care of"

"But what about the magnitude of this weapon? What if it takes out civilians?"

"Civilian casualty is part of the price people play in war, Professor"

"What kind of weapon?" I asked, as the discussion began to absorb me.

The intellectual and the professor both turned towards me.

"Who are you?" The Professor in the Top Hat asked.

"I work on the train as a porter. My name's Ralph" I extended my hand and the Professor shook it.

"Nice to meet you Ralph, I am Professor Layton. My acquaintance is Anthony Danvers"

Anthony extended his hand as well and I shook it. I was able to get a better look at their features as I moved myself to be perpendicular to the pair. The Professor wore a orange shirt and a brown jacket, his hat was the same color of his jacket but a red band was on his chapeau. Anthony however was modestly attired, he wore a white shirt and a red tie with suspenders. Attached to his tie however was a distinct tie clip with what appeared to be some sort of red mushroom on it.

"So, what about this weapon?" I asked.

"A distinct kind of weapon that can remove enemies at an instant. No need for armies, just this one weapon and used only once"

"I keep telling him it's impractical" The professor worriedly spoke "A weapon like this is impossible to manufacture!"

"Not only that," I began "But if one country develops this end-all weapon, who's to say that someone else couldn't get the plans and make their own and improve on the concept? Then you'll have multiple people in a stalemate with a trump card to play"

Anthony just shrugged "Some new weapon would be developed. That way the old super weapon would be obsolete"

"Then there would be another, and another. By that point there would be no one to use the weapon against because there would be no one at all"

"You may be right Ralph, but leave the thinking to the intellectuals. You are just a simple porter"

"I MAY NOT BE BRIGHT BUT I'M NOT A FOOL!" I shouted as I banged on the table.

Silence filled the train car as stares were directed towards me. My less than pleasant temper had gotten the better of me yet again. I was never wild enough to cause any damage but that's because people realized the damage that I could do in such a small space.

I retreated from the situation as I made my way to the next train car while the two began to resume their discussion. The next car contained the kitchen and a partially tight hallway, so I proceeded to the sitting car, which was much like the lounge except it didn't serve food or drinks, but had a small booth for travel necessities. And yet again, the man was elusive but I encountered the two musicians that I met earlier. I also saw the shy young girl sitting with Meta Knight.

The two musicians noticed me, and they waved me down.

"Ralph!" Said the bearded one "Could you come over hear real quick?"

I sat in a seat near the two and I noticed what laid on the table in front of them. A pair of hats, a Black Homburg with a White feather with orange coloring and a Black Trilby with an interesting brass insignia on the band. Also on the table was a small notebook with a pencil nearby, some scattered papers that appeared to be sheet music, and a matchbook.

The musician with beard held a pencil in his hand and often adjusted his purple tie. Holding the tie in place was an Amber tie pin and I noticed that his features were quite pointed. The beardless musician however, was more rounded in facial feature, and that was the major difference between the two and he also decorated himself with a silver ring set with an Amethyst.

"What's the situation?" I asked "Did you talk to Link?"

"He told us to talk to you, for you are the one who sleeps in the luggage cars" The bearded one continued.

"We don't want to disturb you in anyway while we play" The beardless one spoke in earnest.

"Well as long as you don't play while I am sleeping, everything should be okay. Link often practices the flute in the luggage cars while I take over his job for a while" I turned to the bearded one "And during the day, I usually relax and only work when Link or the engineer needs help. What are your names again, by the way?"

"My name is Ganondorf, Ganondorf Dragmire" The bearded man extended his hand and I shook it "My friend's name is Bowser Kamesheru"

Bowser extended his hand and I shook it too

"So, when could Ganon and I begin practicing?" Bowser asked.

"Uh, maybe not today," I replied "but certainly tomorrow during the day. I'm quite curious what's in those secondary cases you carry"

They smiled and then picked up their belongings, Bowser wearing the Homburg (which partially made him look like he had horns due to the shape) and Ganondorf picked up the notebook and the Trilby.

I then made my way trough the sleeping cars where I checked each one to see if Bass either was relaxing by himself or had gone to sleep but the only person I did encounter was Meta Knight's servant who was taking a nap. I finally made my way to the observation car where I finally saw Bass.

The observation car had a small balcony in the back for people to feel the breeze, but it had been raining for the past while and the door to the balcony was locked.

Bass had collapsed into one of the seats, his black hair was all muffed and his Fedora was in the seat next to him. His yellow tie was crooked because his tie clip, which looked like a Sapphire cross, had disconnected off of his dress shirt.

"Excuse me sir?" I asked as I tapped the man's chest.

The man's head lifted "Yes?"

I opened the Passport "Are you a Fo...F...?"

"Just call me Bass" the man spoke as he began to wake "Spelled like the fish, said like the bottom"

"Oh...Did you lose your Passport?" I asked as I handed the object to him. He opened it and looked at me in a startled amazement.

"Thanks" he answered as he put the document into his jacket. He then grabbed his hat and was about to leave when I stopped him.

"Hold on a second" I spoke, placing my hand on the left of his jacket. When my hand contacted the fabric, I felt an unusual lump. Curious and worried, I eventually reached into his jacket and found a revolver and stared at it worriedly. Bass quietly took it back from me and placed it back in it's storage.

"I've been through many crazy things in Europe, and it's a form of...defense" Bass explained "You understand, yes?"

I nodded as I cracked my knuckles right there in front of him.

"Alright then sir..." he began to walk away and he momentarily stopped "Your Bowler's crooked by the way" and he continued.

I starred at him with slight aggravation as he walked down the hall and I adjusted my hat in the process. Out of Bass's sight, I shook out my hands because my knuckles hurt due to it having been a while since I cracked my knuckles. I then checked my pocket watch and checked the time. It was ten to seven, almost time for dinner to be served.

The pocket watch was a gift from the train's management for my exceptional service. It was silver and had an Emerald set on the cover, and it was my prized possession.

I placed the watch into my pocket and traveled to the luggage cars to make myself somewhat presentable at dinner.


	3. Chapter 3

I made my way through the sleeping cars, passengers often passing me as they wanted to prepare for dinner as well and I made my way to the little travel shop.

"Hello Ralph" the brunette woman spoke ever so sweetly "What do you need?"

"Hi Anne, I just need a notepad and a pen"

"Will that be taken from your paycheck?"

I glared at her "What do you think?"

She sighed and pulled out the two objects and I put them in my pocket. I then traveled to the luggage car and placed my hat on the head of a broken mannequin that was wearing a tie.

During my time as a porter, I collected a multitude of objects that were from broken pieces of luggage that people didn't want to take home with them. Broken trunks and other casings I often had repaired for my personal storage purposes but I really enjoyed finding round makeup cases and hat boxes. I permanently secured the hinges with glue or otherwise and I stretched repurposed leather and made makeshift drums.

In France, I had a small apartment and I had a drum set to pass the days when I wasn't working. During these leaves, I salvaged metal and used them for cymbals for my train's set. During my journeys when ever I wasn't needed, I practiced in the rear luggage car when there was enough room to set up the drums.

I opened one of the trunks I had repaired and removed my work shirt and pants. I then put on my good brown pants and my cleanest shirt and took the tie off of the Mannequin head and put it on.

I headed my way to the dining car and saw that people were waiting to be served. The pilots and their companions remained in the same place from the last time I saw him, and so were Anthony and Professor Layton. The Mario Brothers and their girlfriends shared a table and the two red haired musicians were conversing with Meta Knight and his servant. Bass sat alone, and so did Samus. Samus however changed into a turquoise gown that had a strange red insignia on her left breast.

Not wanting to get into a confrontation with either of the solo sitters, I sat at my own table.

The waiter, named Michael, handed me a menu and left. As I looked over the Menu, I noticed that Bass was staring at me intently at times.

I ignored him as I tried to decide my order and listen to the other conversations.

"Fox, try the Veal" Peppy spoke "I've heard that it's very tender"

"I'll think about it. What are you getting Sonic?"

"I'm thinking of getting the sausage platter as an appetizer so we can share and I'm also thinking of getting the Escargot. What about you Tails?"

Tails was intently looking at the menu "Uh...uh..."

Sonic sighed "COME ON TAILS!" he then shouted "You're too slow when it comes to making up your mind!"

"There's just so much to choose from!" Tails retorted.

My ears then turned attention to Professor Layton and Anthony.

"And you see there, along with the consideration of period of time they lived in, it makes a large amount of sense that steam power could be developed before the first steam train" Anthony blabbed.

"Really?" The Professor replied "Well that reminds me of a puzzle..."

Anthony stared intently for a few moments as he waited for a response.

"and...I can't remember what it is"

Anthony then shrugged and I then saw the young woman from before enter the dining car. She caught my eye and approached where I sat.

"May I sit here?" She inquired. I motioned to the chair across from me and she sat down, blocking the deadly stare of Bass. "Thank you"

"You too" I replied "Anything to block that man's paralyzing stare is a blessing to me"

The girl began to turn around.

"Don't look at him!" I cried out and her attention returned to me "I don't think that you'd want to get involved"

"I understand sir" She apologized "What's your name?"

"Ralph, what's yours?"

The girl's eyes glanced at Meta Knight and she then returned to look at me "Ruby, my full name is Ruby Kayobi Daphnes"

The girl then looked at the menu and I did so as well.

"I think that I'm going to get the Roasted Chicken, what are you going to get? Is there anything you haven't had if you work for the train?"

"Well to be honest, I have actually ordered off the menu. If you like I can get you a German Steak Sandwich"

"What's a German Steak Sandwich?"

"It's a Hamburger" I chucked at my little joke but she just stared at me in wonder.

"What's a Hamburger?"

A blank stare was directed at the girl and she just smiled nervously.

"You have lived...a sheltered life, yes?"

The girl looked down at her feet "Yes"

"I'll order two burgers. One for you and one for me"

We ordered the two Burgers, and while she had a glass of Orange Juice I enjoyed a beer. Our conversing however resulted in Ganondorf glancing over at the two of us numerous times.

"Ruby" I asked "Do you know anything about that man with the beard? His name is Ganondorf Dragmire"

"Dragmire?" she asked "All I know is that his bloodline has always seemed to have a dark past"

"Criminal?"

"No, some say his ancestors raged terror across the land generation after generation. And always looking for someone"

Ganondorf turned away as I glanced at him again, and I noticed that even Bass started glancing over at Ganondorf as well.

"Can I ask you a question?" Ruby asked.

"What is it?"

"Are their any Russians on this train?"

I glanced around and everyone who was eating I had already talked to did not to have any thick accents or stereotypical features.

"It's understandable that there would be no Russians on this ride" I replied "this is an expensive train to get on and the economy of Russia isn't that good"

"Then why do you still have a job?" The girl asked.

"People still need to travel internationally"

She sipped her drink and then looked out of the window "When is the first checkpoint?"

"It's actually at the end of the journey. Most of the Journey is through Russia and there are brief water stops, mainly during the night. There is usually a brief stop in Moscow but this is a direct line"

"I understand" she answered and took another sip.

Dinner was quite relaxing, and many people retired into the lounge car or the sitting car after dinner.

I made my way to the sitting car and saw that Sir Meta Knight and Samus were the two that were located here, along with the woman who managed the little shop.

Meta Knight grabbed my attention, and asked that I'd sit with him.

"What is it sir?" I asked.

"That girl, what did she tell you her name was?"

"She told me her name was Ruby Kayobi Daphnes. Why do you ask?"

"I wanted to make sure I heard her right. Now listen closely"

Meta Knight indicated that I should move close to his mouth.

"I was talking with Ruby earlier and I asked her about her journey. She told me that she had this 'bleeding sickness' and that she thought that she was going to die. She told me that she left home because she wanted to see more of the world before she passed away"

"Bleeding sickness? You mean...?"

"Exactly, she has never been told and has not told anyone else. But that's not the only thing, she told me that she left her home about a week ago, on tuesday"

"What's so unusual about that?"

"Kayobi, Ruby's middle name, means 'tuesday' in Japanese. This would have me think that she his hiding something...her bloodline"

"Well if she thinks she's dying her actions seem to be in vain because she doesn't know the truth"

"Well I would like your opinion on something" Meta Knight asked "should I explain to her what is actually happening and have her possibly say that's is a ploy to make her return home, or should I let it wait out until she has the confidence to ask someone herself"

I sat in the seat and contemplated for a moment. This young looking girl would probably find out if she asked, but telling her the truth soon would make it easier for herself.

"I would tell her...but at least not tonight"

"Thank you Ralph" Meta Knight answered, and he got up and made his way to the sleeping cars. I was about to get up to but Samus sat down next to me.

"I also have a question for you Ralph"

I cocked an eyebrow "What is it?"

"I heard Professor Layton and Anthony talking earlier about the concept of some strange super-weapon concept. The question is that if some device such as the one conceived was produced, how would we know if we should use it or not?"

I rested my chin in my hand as I contemplated the thought.

"Well with weaponry, it's probably tested before it is actually used. But considering a super-weapon, you couldn't put your own people at risk to test it's fatality. It would have to be used in a combat situation"

Samus sighed "I thought so..."

She began to walk away but I stopped her with a question "Miss...who exactly treated you as worthless?"

"When I fought in the great war, I fought alongside men. They thought that I would retreat and cower like the young men who were forced to join as the insistence of their parents. I disproved their premonitions and won many a decoration, but when I returned home my female independence was not appreciated. I work hard to not be what people expect me to be, and I'm glad to have found a new definition for myself after being among the men of the lost generation"

I smiled "I'll give you that and more, you have more balls than a pool table, more beauty than a beauty pageant, and more will than a lawyer's office...and those are compliments, not flirts"

She gave me a slight smile and returned to her sleeping car.

"Hey Ralph!" Link called behind me from the Kitchen Car "Listen, would you mind taking the first few hours of the night watch tonight? Michael has a bit of a headache and Jeremy the cook needs to organize the fare for tomorrow's breakfast"

"What about Fritz? The bartender?"

Link shook his head "He works late into the night for people who need a late night drink. Sorry Ralph"

"Meh," I shrugged and made my way back to the luggage car to put on my work clothes.

As I left the Lounge Car, Link spoke over the PA system.

"This is your Conductor speaking, I would just like to say that during the night we will be taking a brief water stop. The train will stop for about fifteen minutes and continue on schedule. I would like to remind you that the first checkpoint will be once we leave Russia, but don't worry, that will not be for a few days. Have a pleasant evening, and enjoy your ride on The Renaissance Express"


	4. Chapter 4

It was nine o'clock, and the lights were dimmed so I was given a flashlight so that I wouldn't stumble as I walked through the train's corridors. The nightly vigil was pleasant most of the time but it was easy to fall asleep because the chugging of the train made pleasant white noise that often made me drowsy when night fell. I started by making my way to the Lounge Car and starting my trip from there.

In the lounge car, Tails, Fox, and Peppy were sitting at the bar and were discussing a job offer that both of them were hoping to acquire.

"You really need both a logical mind and lateral thinking to work in the logistics position. Managing flight attack patterns need variety so that the enemy doesn't pick up on the repeated assaults"

"Why should the enemy pick up on repeated assaults?" Fox asked "If you vary the attack patterns there would be no need for new ones and the enemy would not be able to predict which one you will make"

"They won't predict which one, but they'll be able to create a defense plan that is applicable to all of the repeated patterns. Also, if you tease the enemy with an attack pattern and immediately travel in a direction around the battlefield and then attack from the opposite direction you came from, the enemy would be caught off guard"

"But that would waste fuel and resources" Fox replied.

"It's better than wasting lives" Peppy quipped. His attention then turned towards me "What do you think Ralph?"

I thought for a second and considering each side's argument I noticed something that was overlooked "It doesn't matter whether you are lateral or logical. What matters is if you run out of ideas altogether. If you can't keep developing new attacks, the enemy will be ready in all senses"

I left the lounge car and then traveled to the dining car where, to no surprise, no one was present. I traveled through the kitchen car and then made my way to the sitting car. I noticed that Bass was seated with a small book beside him and was fiddling with his tie clip.

"That's a nice piece of ornamentation" I commented.

Bass looked up "Thank you" he quietly replied.

"What were you reading?"

Bass's eyes turned toward the book "Oh, it's The Canterbury Tales. This edition is actually quite interesting, for it has other writers inserting their own tales as suggestions for Chaucer's works. I've been mainly reading from the modern stories, my favorite being the tale of a hapless minstrel who is a wonderful musician but receives no appreciation for he doesn't conform to the desires of the nobles at the time"

"How does it end?"

"The minstrel eventually encounters King Arthur and plays for his court. But while then fellow knights are displeased at the minstrel's choices, King Arthur appreciates the new music he brought to the table. To me, it means that there will be the one who appreciates your ability even though it isn't of the norm"

"Why do you connect with this tale?"

Bass lightly chuckled "You saw the pair of redheads? I'm a musician like them, but none of my family ever dabbled in music, even for a hobby. Those two have been playing for generation after generation from what I've gathered"

"I agree. But they remind me of you. People of ability who seem to be hiding some fact that they would rather not have revealed"

My expression turned to one of worry as I glared at the breast of his jacket where I felt his gun. His face turned to one of slight worry.

"My abilities are varied and well practiced, and they have all been beneficial and burdensome. You may have been told to always watch the quiet ones but the bombastic ones should also be paid attention to"

"That loud mouthed intellectual?" I asked.

"Yes, anyone like him is either trying to show off his power and ability to start something, or he probably is...trying to compensate for something"

"His lack of actual intelligence?"

Bass shrugged "Perhaps. But I'll end with this, you are not the only one to look at me with those disdainful eyes. The man in the Top Hat has been smacking me with dirty looks left and right"

"But has he felt your...defense mechanism?"

He shook his head "No, and that is why he pisses me off more than you do"

"I'm just considering the safety of the passengers"

"Mine too?"

I nodded quietly and continued to the sleeping cars. There were about five sleeping cars and each car had three sleeping chambers and a restroom. In the first car, I saw Sonic in the first room, and he was going over an unusual collection of gold rings. The next room had no one in it, and the third room contained The Meta Knight and his servant.

The second car was a bit of a surprise, for when I entered, the young woman I had dinner with was rushing in from the other side of the train car. She made her way to the first sleeping chamber, closed the door, and pulled down the blinds. I gave the door a light knock but all I heard was hyperventilating. Ganondorf, who was in the next room, opened his door and turned towards me.

"What in the name of Din's Fire was that?" he asked.

I shrugged "I don't know, she just ran in after experiencing some kind of shock"

Ganondorf shrugged as well, and I continued pass his and Bowser's chamber and I passed the next chamber. It didn't contain anyone, but I noticed a photograph of Fox and Peppy together with what appeared to be two other pilots.

The third car had people in all of the chambers. Mario and Peach were in the first room while Luigi was in the second, taking care of Daisy's dress. The final chamber contained Professor Layton, who was solving the crossword of a newspaper.

The fourth car, to my surprise, was empty. But there was evidence of someone being in the second chamber, for a black fedora with a white band was resting on the seat in the chamber along with the occupant's other effects.

The final car had someone in the first chamber, and on the seat was a certificate of appreciation or something that bore the name SAMUS ARAN. I continued passed the second chamber, which no one was in. The third chamber consisted of the sounds of a grumbling man and closed blinds.

I knocked on the door "Are you okay in there?"

"Who is it?" the man spoke. It was Anthony.

"It's Ralph, I'm doing the night watch. Do you need assistance?"

"No" he spoke as he hit his head on something "I'm fine"

I shrugged as I made my way to the observation car.

Samus was seated in the train car, still wearing the gown she wore at dinner and was reading an edition of the periodical _New Writing_.

"May I ask what you are reading?" I asked.

Her head turned to me "Oh, hello Ralph. It's a collection of essays and news against Anti-Fascism"

"Fascism...like Hitler and Mussolini and such, correct?"

"Yes, but there's one particular essay by this man named George Orwell. It's titled 'Shooting an Elephant'. It's a tale of a british officer in Burma who, at the insistence of those around him, finds him shooting an elephant and pained by the slow death of the creature. My favorite quote is 'When the white man turns tyrant, it is his own freedom that he destroys'. It's obviously referring to the Fascist powers of our time"

"Not necessarily" I replied "Sure you are reading an Anti-Facist news source, but being raised in England, I know quite the amount of information of British Imperialism. Fascist powers are tyrant against their own people, but British Imperialism took up the 'white man's burden' and used what was classified as an inferior people for profit. You, being classified as an inferior, at NO fault of your own mind you, should be able to see that connection"

Samus looked at the pages again "It seemed so obvious at first, but then I looked passed the obvious facts"

I smiled "All of the evidence must be considered before a conclusion is made. Some will just take what is there and others will only use what has been uncovered and disband all facts. The trick is to use both and wisely do so"

I left the observation car and returned to the fifth sleeping car. The shades were still down on the third chamber as I passed, and Samus's chamber was still empty since I had just left her.

I entered the fourth sleeping car and saw that Bass was getting ready for bed in the second chamber.

"Everything okay in there?" I asked.

Bass turned towards me in great surprise "Wha!...uh...yes, I'm okay"

He adjusted his pants as he gave me a startled smile.

I continued to the third car and as I opened the door to the car, Daisy was exiting the lavatory. She made her way to her chamber and met with Luigi. Professor Layton had fallen asleep, and Mario and Peach were most likely asleep as the shades were down.

The second car now contained Fox and Peppy quietly chatting away, Bowser and Ganondorf seemed to have gone to sleep, and the shades were down in the young woman's chamber.

The first car still contained The Meta Knight and his servant, and Sonic's compartment had Tails seated with him.

I traveled to the sitting car and noticed that Anne had probably made her way to the staff car, It was 9:45 and the little shop normally closed at ten. I sat down in one of the seats and took the little notepad and pen out of my pocket and began to write the details of the passengers that I had encountered.

If it wasn't for the small notebook that I had acquired that day in 1939, I would probably never have been able to write this account of events. When I began writing this story, I could barely remember any of the details of who was on the train or the layout. I could never forget what happened, for it was such a unique event, but what makes a good mystery is the details.

I almost didn't write this story, but I was able to find this notebook of events and recollect more of the details.

It took me around a good 45 minutes to write down all of the details of the passengers, but it never occurred to me why I ever wanted to write down the facts.

In hindsight, it was probably the climate involving those on board. Bass, Bowser, Ganondorf, Anthony, Ruby, and Samus all caused me to worry.

At around 10:45, Link entered the sitting car and saw me.

"Anything to report?"

I closed up my notebook and placed it in my pocket. "Nothing horrid I assure you, except that Ruby ran from one of the cars to her chamber at one point. They now all seem to bed going to be at this hour"

Link nodded "Okay then. I'll take the rest of the watch, Mike's shift begin's at midnight and I have to prepare the water stop"

I gave Link the flashlight and made my way through the staff cars to the luggage cars. I placed my hat on the mannequin head and rested my head on a mattress that was originally used in the sleeping cars that I repurposed. Originally I used to sleep on used trunks that felt like bricks but I originally got used to it.

I fell asleep with the notebook in my pocket, a secure account of what had then happened.


	5. Chapter 5

A wind up alarm clock that I had rang at six thirty, when I usually got up. I had no shower where I was, so I used some cologne sprayed on some talcum powder and rubbed over my body as a solution. The staff cars and the passenger cars had forms of showers, but I found that my method worked well for my purposes. Breakfast didn't start till seven thirty, so I took the time to go over my little notepad.

None of them seemed to be terrible people for the most part, but some rubbed me the wrong way.

First there was Professor Layton. He seemed perfectly straight, but I had my doubts on his intellectual abilities. The same with Anthony. He seemed ever so obsessed with spreading his ideas around that he didn't to seem to care about the opinions of others nor the fact that people wanted him to shut up (myself included). Then there was Samus. She, at first, seemed very cold and heartless. Yet then again, it wasn't her fault. She was a woman, and wanted to do what men did without restriction. I understood her behavior, and I found her more polite than that damn Peach woman, who didn't seem smart enough to be a threat.

Bass was my largest worry, and he worried about me as well. His paranoia and reclusiveness were odd, but he certainly seemed like he wasn't looking for trouble in any case. I just hope that his nervousness doesn't result in any accident. Along with him, the two redheads piqued my interest. Their inquiry to practice music in the back wouldn't warrant any suspicion, but it was odd never the less.

Ruby was the most unusual of them all. A shy, quiet girl who had been living under a massive rock for God knows how long. Well, God and probably a number of other people.

As I left the luggage cars into the staff cars, I encountered Michael and Jeremy who had to prepare breakfast.

"Any bad dreams Michael?"

"Other than that one about being mauled by a bear, no"

"Anything problematic with the water stop last night?"

"Link told me that there was no issue at all" Jeremy answered.

The two left the staff cars and made their way to the kitchen. I followed them but I made my way to the observation car in the rear after they got to the kitchen.

As I got to the observation car, I encountered Link, who was unlocking the door to the balcony in the back.

"Oh hello Ralph! Sleep well?"

I yawned "I did. How was your night?"

"Nothing exciting. Why not come and chat while we get some fresh air?"

I agreed, and we both placed our hats on chairs inside the enclosed part of the observation car.

"You know Ralph...I never get tired of traveling through the European landscapes"

I looked at Link in an odd way "Really? Because I've been working on this railroad for years and the only thing that makes the trip interesting for me is the new people I encounter from trip to trip" I sat down and rested my chin on my fist "I've had the cuisine numerous times, the lazy comfort of travel gets boring, the only thing that helps me pass the time substantially is the drum set I have in the rear. This monotonous journey adds nothing to my life, the only thing that this job does for me is steady pay"

Link shrugged "Maybe repetition is your line of work"

I shook my head "I hope not. There better be some new...thing...that is out there for me"

"We all hope that Ralph. But as a wise man once said, waiting for something to happen is less successful than making something happen. And remember that we're here for you Ralph, if you need any help just remember that you have friends. And remember the train's latin credo"

"I remember, it's 'Victoria Itineribus Simul'. Or in english, 'Success Travels Together'" I smiled comfortably.

Link got up and left the observation deck, grabbing his hat in transit, and I just stood for a few minutes and let the wind and landscape rush by me.

I traveled through to the passenger cars and in the third chamber I encountered a heated argument involving Luigi, Daisy, and Anthony. Daisy was crying and Luigi and Anthony were screaming up a storm.

"Now I'm going to ask you again-a, what did you-a do to-a Daisy?" Luigi demanded.

"I told you! I didn't do anything! She's just trying to blame her own stupidity on me!"

"My woman is not-a stupid!" Luigi shouted "My brother's woman might-a be...but that's beside-a the point! I'm going to ask you again!"

"DON'T ASK AGAIN BECAUSE I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

Daisy got up in a rage "YOU'RE A GODDAMNED _LIAR!_ THE WAY YOU TALKED TO ME AND THE WAY YOU GRABBED ME MEANT ONLY ONE THING!"

"ALRIGHT YOU THREE!" I shouted as I opened up the door "I don't know what happened, and I don't really care who is in the wrong. But I insist that you stop this _IMMEDIATELY!_ "

Luigi turned to Daisy "My darling flower, will you please wait-a outside?"

She nodded, and she made her way to the observation car. I followed her, and she sat in one of the seats.

"What exactly happened miss?" I politely asked.

"I don't want to talk about it...it's...embarrassing..."

I shrugged "Alright then. I just hope you can cope"

I left the car and saw that the two men were chatting at a lower volume. As I turned to continue down the corridor, Bass rushed by me and hastily entered the observation car. Not thinking anything was particularly strange, I made my way to the other end of the train car. Without any warning, the door of the first chamber slid open and Samus slammed into my torso.

"Ow!" she shouted as she landed on the floor. I apologized for the incident and she took the situation in stride. "It's okay Ralph, I understand. To be frank, I didn't look out for anyone because I wanted to know what the ruckus was about"

I shrugged. "I don't really know, it seems to be some dispute between one of the Italian brothers and that intellectual"

"Which brother?"

"The one in the green hat. Luigi"

"I see...well I'd better get...HEY!"

Bass rushed by both of us and made his way back into the passenger cars.

"What in world is he worried about?" Samus asked.

"I don't know. He seems to be rather jumpy" I answered "I'll talk to him after breakfast...or the next time he passes by"

I traveled to the fourth car and found that Bass was rummaging through the second chamber, frantically searching for something. He then began to leave his chamber by I stopped him.

"Hold on a moment Bass," I said as my hand landed on Bass torso "What seems to be..."

I ceased as I recalled the revolver that was there the first time I encountered him.

It was missing.

I looked into Bass's eyes and he gave me nervous smile. I let him go and he rushed to the next car towards the engine.

In the next car, The Professor was doing something with his top hat, most likely cleaning it. Daisy and Luigi were absent, due to the argument with Anthony. Mario and Peach were getting up, and Peach insisted on pulling down the blind as I walked by.

I didn't care what she did, as long as it didn't affect me.

As I entered the next car, Fox was making his way to the dining car but Peppy was still getting ready. Bowser was already up but Ganondorf happened to be absent. I knocked on the door and Bowser opened it.

"Hello Ralph. What's the situation?"

"Well I've been contemplating the timing for your practicing, and I will allow you to practice after breakfast. Is that suitable?"

Bowser nodded "Yes, that's fine"

"I'm glad. By the way, where's Ganondorf?"

"He's next door, comforting that Ruby girl. She had quite a fright yesterday and I'm not quite sure why"

"I don't know either. But I did witness her running from the passenger car area"

"Well I hope Ganondorf can help her"

Bowser closed the door, and I continued my way down the corridor. I saw Ganondorf and Ruby talking, the woman tenderly holding a handkerchief and the musician resting his chin on his fist, intently listening.

In the final car, The Meta Knight and his servant were already traveling to the dining car as I opened the door. I continued through the corridor and saw that Sonic and Tails had already made their way to the dining car.

I traveled to the dining car and saw a number of people already seated. Bass had found a table, Meta Knight and his servant were together, Sonic sat alone while Fox found a seat with Tails.

"Hey Ralph," I heard. "Would you care to sit with me?"

It was Bass who wished that I sit with him. I sat down in the chair, nervous for a reason that I wasn't certain about.

"I'd be happy to sit with you Bass, as long as you don't give me a death stare"

"Death stare? No worries. But to be honest, that green hatted italian gave me some evil glances as well last night"

This fact surprised me "Really? How come?"

Bass shrugged "I don't know, maybe he thought that I was eyeing his woman"

"Well Luigi is certainly steamed due to that intellectual, Andrew"

Professor Layton entered the car, and so did Luigi and Daisy.

"Andrew...I don't even want to talk about him. I'm not surprised that he has interest in Daisy. He's probably hungry for some action since he's so insecure. I'd love to get rid of him just for that fact alone, but how he goes on and on and on about his thoughts drives me insane. Circumstances however prevent me from fulfilling my wishes. But who knows, maybe I'll be lucky"

The waiter came over, and we placed our orders and our discussion continued.

"Bass...I would like a...personal opinion on the two musicians. You said that they claimed to have been generations of musicians but I heard from Ruby that Ganondorf has a dark past"

Bass arched an eyebrow. "You already surmised that I and they were hiding something. Why do you think me in particular? And why do you want my opinion about them?"

"Ganondorf was talking to Ruby this morning due to an incident that happened last night. I want to know if there's any connection between either her and Ganondorf or the redheaded pair and crime"

"That first set of information will be hard to come by, but to answer your second inquiry...I wouldn't be surprised if they were either what they claim or what you suspect"

"How can you determine this?" I asked.

"To be honest Ralph, I've worked as an investigator back in the states. I wasn't a private eye, but I helped clients gather information that they asked of us and we provided it...for a fee of course"

"Of course," I groaned "nothing comes for free"

"I'll say. And with my investigative skill and your wordless opinion of me, you have a slight distaste for the unrighteous"

"Well I don't think of you as unrighteous, you just have the facade of wickedness and paranoia. But with your fear, I sense a heart that truly cares"

Bass cocked an eyebrow in intrigue "I understand where you are coming from, but how does a man like you, in a place like this, encounter people with my facade?"

I sighed "Well due to my strength, various people desired my ability for ill gain"

"That's a damn shame, because you appear to be very wise" Bass spoke as he had some of his food and I did as well.

"Well thankfully I've been able to fend them off with this stable job. It gets repetitive though, but people like you keep it interesting enough"

Slowly, more people filled into the dining car and both of us continued to glance at the passengers.

"Bass" I asked "do you think it's possible that a...situation...may occur?"

Bass looked up from his meal "I don't think that I need to tell you this, but a situation can happen at any time. All one needs is that spark"

"Well who is most likely to set it off?"

Bass shrugged "There is a volatile mix of chemistries on this train and if any of them are involved in a strong enough contact there's bound to be an 'explosion' if you get my drift"

"I perfectly understand" I replied. We continued our breakfasts as the other guests loaded the car for breakfast. Discussions began and my ears were listening for any possible developments.

Though nothing happened at breakfast; as the sun rose, the tensions did as well.


	6. Chapter 6

As I finished breakfast, Ganondorf and Bowser entered the dining car as I made my way to get some quick fresh air from the observation car. Naturally, due to my size, I literally bumped into one of them.

"Oh! Pardon me!" Bowser apologized.

"It's okay" I replied "It's my fault...by the way, how is Ruby doing?"

"She's doing fine " Ganondorf replied "but I must ask you, when could we start rehearsing in the luggage car?"

"Well if you are willing to practice right after having breakfast, just locate me in the observation car and I'll be able to accommodate you two"

The two thanked me, but as I remembered something I quickly grabbed Ganondorf's shoulder.

"What is it Ralph?" Ganondorf asked.

"How is the girl doing?"

Ganondorf turned his head towards the direction of the passenger cars and sighed "She'll be fine. She told me about what she called a 'bleeding sickness' and that it's supposed happen in a few days. She told me that she's traveling to see the world before she 'dies', but I don't know whether I should tell her the truth"

"Mmm" I answered "The Meta Knight and I know about your dilemma as well. Just keep it to yourself for now"

Ganondorf agreed and returned to preparing for breakfast.

I made my way down the train's corridors and finally arrived at the first of the sleeping cars. It was completely empty, save for Peppy, who was traveling down the hall towards the dining car. The next car contained only the young woman, who was preparing for breakfast.

I entered the next car and Mario and Peach exited from their chamber. When peach immediately realized it was me who was in the corridor, she raised her nose in disgust and swiftly strode right past me. Mario sighed and approached me.

"Please pardon my girlfriend-fiancee. She comes from a old money family and distain the lower classes...for the most part"

"For the most part?"

"I work as a plumber, and the reason we ever got together was that my brother, Luigi, knew Daisy. And Daisy was a good friend of Peach. Daisy invited me and my brother to a party in which Peach attended, and we went from there"

"I see. It's good to know that people don't have to WORK for relationships" I answered disdainfully.

"Don't think that it's a bed of Roses for me. She's tries to shape me more to her class, but I try to show her the pleasures of my background"

"Well Roses have thorns, I see where you are coming from"

"I understand. Don't think that is you, it's her breeding"

Mario made his way down the corridor, and as I made my way back towards the observation car. Professor Layton opened his door.

"Hello there sir!" The Professor greeted.

"Hello there" I replied.

"Can you help me with a riddle real quick? It's been on my mind all night"

"I might be able to help" I answered, stoping towards the professor.

"Okay, here it is. A rooster flies up to the top of the roof with the wind blowing from the south, when it lays an egg. on which side of the roof will the egg roll, left or right? The reason I'm having trouble is it doesn't say what cardinal directions the lengthwise of the house is pointing, nor the roof orientation, the material of the roof, or how the rooster is perched on the roof. I've been baffled extensively!"

I reconsidered the question and mentally sighed when I realized that his contemplative musings were moot points.

"I know the answer, but I will only tell you if you answer this question correctly. How do you keep a fool in suspense?"

The Professor opened his mouth to answer, but no words came out for a good minute "Er...how?"

I just simply smiled and continued down the corridor to the observation car. As I opened the door to the next car, I heard The Professor grumble in frustration and one of the words I heard him mumble was "Idiot". The next car was completely empty, since Bass was the only one who was in this car and I left him after eating breakfast. I entered the next car and Samus's curtains were closed, probably getting changed or something. I continued down the corridor to see that Anthony's blinds were down, and I concluded the same answer.

I entered the observation car, placed my hat on one of the seats, and checked the time on my pocket watch. It was 8:50. I retrieved the little notepad I bought yesterday and updated the information on it. About five minutes passed and Anthony entered the train car, and he brought a book with him.

"I'm sorry, am I disturbing you?" Anthony asked. He spoke as if he didn't really care if I was irritated or not.

Thankfully, I wasn't disturbed. "No, you won't be a distraction, just as long as you keep quiet"

"I understand...what are you working on by the way?"

I looked at the pad "Um...I'm just practicing on writing Russian"

"I see. For working across Europe one must be able to understand multiple tongues. By the way, Skol'ko vremeni?"

"Tri minuty do devyati" I answered in flawless Russian "Aimez-vous votre logement?" I asked.

"Oui, je les aime bien" He replied in french without hesitation.

"Good, Good" I answered "Ich hoffe, ich bin nicht zu aufdringlich Ziel, wo Sie zu Hause anrufen?" I asked, inquiring his origins.

"Ich komme aus D...eh...pardon me. My German is not the greatest"

Anthony then began to leave the train car as Bowser and Ganon entered the observation car. Bowser held a briefcase in his hand as he entered.

"I'm sorry Ralph," Bowser apologized "did we interrupt something?"

I shook my head "Nein, haben Sie nichts zu unterbrechen...er...no, you weren't. I was just practicing some languages"

The two then sat across from me and I put my little notepad away.

"So, how long do you think that we'll be able to practice?" Ganon asked.

"Well Lunch is at eleven and ends around two, so if we leave for the luggage car now you'd have a good three hours till noon to practices"

"That'll be suitable" Ganon replied "after you Ralph"

We exited the observation car and passed the sleeping chambers. Most of them were empty, save for Meta Knight's servant and Sonic who were both sleeping in their cars. Fox and Tails were talking with Anthony in the sitting car. Mario, Luigi, and their fiancees appeared to be playing a card game.

We entered the kitchen car and then entered the dining car. Zelda was enjoying the last parts of her meal, and looking out the windows to enjoy the countryside of Russia. Samus also sat alone, but was more focused in her food.

The lounge car contained a studious Professor Layton and a startled Bass.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a key "Only staff members can access the staff and luggage cars" I unlocked the door and began to enter but Bass quickly interrupted me.

"Excuse me" Bass began as he got up off of his chair "Although I don't think that my...displaced article...will be in the luggage cars, I need to retrieve something else that is of particular importance"

I shrugged "I don't see why I can not accommodate you. You three may follow me"

The four of us passed through the staff quarters, passing Link and other staff members in the process. I then opened the door to the luggage car.

"Now, what did your cases look like again?" I asked.

"We each brought two cases" Bowser explained "We'll be needing the guitar cases"

We began searching through the trunks and other sundry cases to find the cases.

"I think I found one!" Ganon announced "but I don't think it's mine or Bowser's"

The case was a solitary one, and had no discerning markings or damages on it.

"LET ME SEE THAT!" Bass shouted, and quickly made his way to check the case. He opened it in private and confirmed it was his.

"Is that what you needed?" I asked.

"No, I just wanted to make sure it was mine alone" Bass replied.

"Then whose cases are they?" Bowser asked as he pointed to a similar case with a much larger case right next to it.

"Those are Bass's as well" I explained...and then it dawned on me "Bass, I thought you only had two cases?"

"The two cases I gave you were just a portion of my luggage. The rest of my belongings were loaded by a porter at the station"

"I see" I replied, and then Bowser's attention turned to a group of four cases, two were blocky cases and two were much like the the smaller case that was with Bass's biggest one.

"These should be them" Bowser spokes as he removed the two guitar cases. They set them down on a pair of trunks and opened them. After realizing that they had each other's instruments, they then swapped the cases.

Bowser's case contained an acoustic guitar of a make and model that has been lost to time. Ganon however had a unusually shaped instrument. A dark black instrument that Ganondorf had explained that it was a solid bodied instrument, different than Bowser's.

"Well then" Bowser spoke "This should be all that we need" he then opened his briefcase and pulled out numerous papers from inside.

"I must be going then" Bass then announced, and began traveling to exit the luggage car.

"Well good luck then" I spoke as he left "Now gentlemen, you will find that there is much more room in the next luggage car. I suggest that you practice there"

The two men turned to each other, shrugged, closed their cases and made their way to the second luggage car that also contained my sleeping area.

As the two closed the door, my attention turned to Bass's lonely instrument case that he was so nervous about. I removed it from it's location and sat it down on a trunk. I slowly opened the lid and without reaction I discovered more justification for Bass's ticks.

The case contained a Tommy Gun.

I closed the case with delicacy, replaced the case, and pretended that I never saw the incriminating object.

I told myself he's trying to get away from his deeds and start anew. At least that's what I wanted to believe...


	7. Chapter 7

Leaving the luggage car with the weapon inside was startling at the least, but I came to ignore it as I entered the other luggage car. As the door closed, I heard the strumming of one of the guitars and a unidentifiable metal twang.

The Tommy Gun was shelved into the back of my mind as I entered the lounge car. Sitting at a table, I noticed that Antony was talking to one of the pilots. It was the younger one, Tails, and he had his head buried in his hands while Antony patiently waited for a response.

No one else was in sight.

Curious, I grabbed a newspaper and pretended to read it. Antony began to sip a drink as Tails removed his hands.

"I just don't know what to do..." Tails spoke "I mean, I need a job when I return to the states but Fox wants the same job. We can't occupy the same job because there's only one opening"

Antony put down his drink "Well...how much of a friend is Fox?"

"Pardon?"

"Well, when did you meet him?"

"Uh...a few days ago. I met him at the hotel I was staying in"

"So you've had this 'friend' for only a few days?" Antony chucked lowly "That is not a friend my friend"

"Look who's talking!" Tails exclaimed "I've only met you yesterday!"

"True, but just because you met someone yesterday is not justification for not listening to someone. If that was the case, nothing would ever get done"

Tails shrugged "I understand, but what is your advice?"

"Well...what if Fox...didn't exist?

I remember my hands tightening around the pages of the newspaper as I heard this.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Tails stuttered as he whispered.

"Get rid of Fox" Antony whispered "Does anyone else know about this issue?"

Tails thought for a moment "Well, all that Sonic knows is that Fox and I might work together, but not compete for a job"

"What about Peppy?"

"I don't think so"

"Well it should be easy then, should it? No one knows about the conflict and since we're on a train you can just toss him off the train"

"I can't do that!" Tails loudly whispered, but the two stopped speaking for I had bumped my leg against something.

"Can he hear us?" Antony asked, and he got up from his seat to see if I was indeed listening.

I paniked internally as the paper lifted, but all that Antony saw was me with my eyes closed, loudly sawing logs, and slightly drooling. I can't even imagine how stupid I looked.

"The oaf has conked out, were fine" Antony spoke as he sat "So where were we?"

"I can't kill Fox" Tails whispered.

"Why not? You're a fighter pilot in training. Your job is requires killing people"

"Yes, but I'm killing enemies. Fox may not be a 'friend', but he's nice. I can't kill a nice guy"

"Well...I can understand. You will not know your enemies, yes?"

I sensed a shaking movement that alluded to nodding.

"Well, what if you killed someone you didn't know?"

"Who exactly?"

"Have you talked to either of the two italians?"

I sensed that Tails shook his head.

"Well, there's one who has a green hat. We had a spat this morning and I would love to see him dead, but the problem is that I would be a prime suspect due to other people knowing the spat. You don't know this guy, so why don't you kill him?"

"But I have no reason to!"

"That's the genius of it! No connection between the murderer and the victim. I'll kill Fox, and you'll kill the green hatted italian, and we get away scot-free due to no connecting motive"

Tails said nothing as he most likely thought upon the plan. Thoughts were racing inside my head as I feigned my sleep.

"Well...give me some time to think upon it..." Tails spoke

"I understand. This requires some planning so I understand if you must sleep on it..."

Antony got up and made his way into the dining car while Meta Knight's servant entered the Lounge car in a hurry. The man rushed for the door into the staff car but the door was locked. Bass then entered the Lounge Car, disheveled and in a rage. He ran towards the servant and pinned him against the door.

"WHERE IS IT?" Bass shouted at the servant.

"Je ne sais pas! I do not know what you are talking about!" The servant pleaded.

"LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW!" Bass yelled and he slammed the servant against the door. Tails saw the commotion and rushed to the door. Encountering Meta Knight at the door.

"Where is Dee, my servant?" Meta Knight asked Tails. The pilot just pointed towards the other end of the lounge car and continued into the dining car. Meta Knight strode in elegance with his cane in his hand as he approached Bass and his servant.

"GIVE IT BACK!" Bass screamed.

"Monsieur! I already returned your wallet! I do not have anything else of your belonging!" The servant whimpered.

"I'M NOT _TALKING_ ABOUT MY _WALLET_!" Bass exclaimed at such a high volume that it made my ears hurt.

I was about to get up to intervene with the situation, and then the most interesting thing happened.

Meta Knight pulled on the handle of his cane, and it revealed a sliver blade. A sword contained in his cane, and pointed it at the back of Bass's neck.

"Leave him alone, or I will have to make an avoidable mess"

With a smirk, Bass let go of Meta Knight's servant and began to turn around to face Meta Knight with a smug form of confidence that immediately vanished when he saw the sword.

"What has Dee taken away from you?" Meta Knight asked.

Bass just stood there, dumfounded at the sight of the long blade that he couldn't reply.

"Well, apparently this man had his wallet stolen by your servant," I explained "or maybe he lost his wallet and when your servant tried to return it there may have been a misunderstanding"

Meta Knight's eyes glanced over at his servant "Dee," he asked "did you steal this man's wallet?"

"No, I have not. I found it in the middle of the corridor of the fourth sleeping car" the servant replied "I was looking through it to see who may have owned it when I quickly discovered who owned it. I returned the wallet, but then this man" the servant pointed to Bass "started to talk about something else he owns. What it is, I don't know"

"This man" I spoke, pointing at Bass "has lost his revolver"

"I thought that if he had my wallet, he may have had my gun..." Bass spoke as he stared down the blade of the sword "I may have been out of line with my actions but this trip has been a little nerve wracking for me"

"Nerve wracking?" Meta Knight pondered "How so?"

"Well for starters," Bass calmly began "the fact that I may die by way of a CANE SWORD on a train is unsettling

Meta Knight sheathed his sword into his cane "I understand. Dee, please return this man's wallet"

Dee gave Bass the wallet gingerly and the owner swiped it away with spite and nervousness. Meta Knight and his servant silently exited the car as Samus began to enter with a newspaper in her hand.

Bass sighed "Thank you for that, I owe you"

"Thanks, but acting paranoid on this train isn't going to help anyone's instrument case" I slipped, and I noticed that my remark caught Samus's attention.

"Wait what?" Bass asked.

"Er...sorry, the other musicians are still in my mind"

"I understand" Bass responded "What is on our minds tends to reveal itself at the most inconvenient at times. Now I must resume my search"

Bass walked off to the next car, and I began to as well. However, as I made my way into the dining car I noticed that Samus's newspaper was an english one and seemed to contain a bundle. I paused as I was about to enter the next car.

"How old is that newspaper?" I asked.

"What this?" Samus responded "Oh, it's from England. To be honest, it's Champagne. I got it in France and brought it as a treat for one of my Russian acquaintances"

She pulled the bottle out of the paper and revealed it was a bottle of Möet & Chandon.

"Nice to see that you were nice enough to share it with your friend" I remarked.

"Yes, but I happened to bring too many bottles with me, so I'm bringing this one home"

"Well I hope you enjoy it" I replied as I tipped my hat and entered the dining car.


End file.
